Adrian Scott Counsellor Supervisor MBACP Accred

Disassociation – the feeling of being detached from yourself. A feeling of unreality where you sense you are an observer of yourself and your life. A numbness where the day passes in a haze. You know it. But at the same time you can’t do anything about it. Like a fog where you can see but not very far ahead.

The mind is protective. It shuts down to try and process the information which it finds difficult to experience. Like a fright, or hurt or trauma. If you experience fright in early life this can stay with you for the rest of your life. It becomes a store of disassociation energy which gets reactivated in times of difficulty or stress.

There are practical things you can do. When you feel disassociated look around you. Name the objects that see you. Ground yourself in a physical reality. Feel what you feel. Even if it is numbness. Accept the feeling. The mind is doing its job. Let it do it.
You can identify the triggers that put you in a disassociated state. Is it about meeting with your boss? Your parents? Bumping into an ex. Or being abused, emotionally, physically, sexually?

The mental state of the primary care giver is crucial to the early life of the baby. This time can be the start of the forming of disassociation. If the early bond is anxious, frightening or broken. The baby’s mind has to disassociate to try work out the environment and survive. It is a natural but alarming state to experience. 

Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique 

The Silver Snoopy Award was given to NASA staff and external support staff by the astronauts as an acknowledgement of their support for the space programme. It is a special honour.

In the 1960s Peanuts creator Charles Schultz started to draw the character Snoopy on the moon. Snoopy became a symbol in America for its obsession with space flight. 

The Silver Snoopy was first awarded in 1968 to the crew who tested the first lunar module. One special receiver of the award was Omega’s technical manager Hans Widmer. Omega became the official watchmaker for NASA in 1962. 

The Omega Speedmaster Chronograph Watch came into its own on the Apollo 13 mission. An explosion in an oxygen tank crippled the module. They had to return to earth safely: the exact length of time for an engine burn giving the correct trajectory to enter the earth’s atmosphere was crucial. The watch chronograph measured the time exactly.
They returned to safety.

Snoopy versions of the Omega Speedmaster were created to celebrate the relationship. The third Snoopy Omega Watch was released this week. 

Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique 

Sitting with feelings appears to be a challenging exercise for humans to do.
What’s the point? The first thing is to notice when you have them. To notice – a more neutral word to describe a gentle observation. Sounds simple. But remarkable how good we are at noticing what we feel are positive feelings: but the more negative feelings are tricky.

It is a big leap to notice and feel the negative feelings. More helpful is to notice how we don’t notice! What happens when we feel pain or discomfort around feelings? Do we ignore them. Push them down. Compensate by eating, consumption or exercise. Nothing wrong with these tactics until they don’t work.

By noticing of course we start to feel. To sit with discomfort and pain begins slowly to become easier. Until the pain and discomfort become part of the lexicon of feelings we have.

What’s the point? Imagine you have a bereavement. You deny or push away any association with the bereavement. But at times the feelings burst through. Then you push them away again. The bereavement is split off, waiting for a convenient hijack. Or all the other feelings are denied or pushed away: creating a general depression.

To make friends with our painful feelings means that we can switch on our emotional compass to guide us through the tumult of life. We have the facts of our lives, the story. But also if we notice – there is an emotional seam telling us what we like and what hurts us. Like when the body hurts it is keeping us safe. The same with feelings.
Sitting with Feelings 

Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique 

The Doll Test is an experiment to show how attitudes to race are already set in young children.
Imagine a sponge sitting in a centimetre of vinegar. Nobody would be surprised that the sponge soaks up the vinegar.

The primitive brain is a sponge. It develops through what is seen, and felt: not what is instructed or told. So when it comes to race huge hidden symbols embedded in culture and language influence the primitive brain.

White wedding, pure as driven snow, white priviledge. Political Correctness notices the language used to describe social politics. People complain that nothing can be said or joked about. But it is not the word but the association to the word that is crucial. Some associations we share with others are deeply personal to us. And the feelings associated with the words shape us as people. 

So racism is a bias we are fed from early years. If we have the skill to notice – prejudice is in everything. Parents, family, media, culture, politics are biased. To notice the frame or environment we live in makes sense of what we bias. To see our bias is to understand our prejudice. Then we can acknowledge and lessen our prejudice’s impact on our behaviour. 

Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique 

Freud forgot. He was settling his accounts. And came across client M who he could not remember. The 14 year old girl was suffering from abdominal pains and he diagnosed her as having Hysteria. Freud treated her and she improved. Unfortunately the patient died two months later of sarcoma of the abdominal glands. Freud missed her physical illness and treated her psychologically.

He wrote about this in his book Psychopathology of Everday Life P.152
Freud had failed. So he wanted to forget his failure.

What he was trying to describe was that we have have no choice in our forgetting. Like we have no control over what hurts us or causes us pain. So Freud’s psyche felt the pain triggered by the failure and tried to dismiss the incident by forgetting. Freud’s life was invested in his clinical reputation: so to fail was a big deal for him. Noticing how we forget is one of the keys to what hurts us and how we were hurt.
Freud Forgot

Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique 

Painful Manners are a part of UK life. Even in these times of indivualism and consumerism, not saying what you really feel or think is a necessary tool for living in the UK. The motives are well intentioned. Nobody wants to hurt anyone’s feelings. Politeness is key.

To other cultures this is confusing. Nobody really knows what’s going on. Guesses are made. Interpretations discussed. But the ‘the truth’ remains elusive, unknown.

To avoid causing pain, pain can be caused. The person is hurt but they don’t really know what is going on. Is their hurt justified? What did the person mean? Was something said under pressure which hasn’t been discussed? Did anger temporarily override politeness? Only for the veil of politeness to be quickly drawn again.

At other times in a culture of manners people can unwittingly say or do something setting off a trap or chain of events unintended. While being in the world of the unknown the uninitiated bump into stuff. As a kid in the culture of manners the cue to be silent, not to speak is casually ingrained. Outsiders complain that it can never be learnt. 
Beware politeness.

Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique 

Greece opened its first underwater museum on August 1st. The ship was loaded with thousands of Amphorae – jugs usually of wine – untouched for amateur divers to witness. The wreck is 25 metres underwater showing a shape of a very big ship sunk in a storm.

The metaphor of jug is useful in thinking about ourselves psychologically. From our beginnings how we are filled up/related to has a big impact on how we grow up to be adults. Most of us have holes in our jug, or even no bottom at all.

The love and care we receive or not forms our own jug. Sometimes in times of stress we are more leaky than others. Amphorae

We fill ourselves up with the modern world, but cannot be satisfied. Because what is poured into the jug cannot be retained. So the work is to try and build up a more secure jug. To notice how we fill ourselves up, and in what circumstances is crucial. We can develop a sense of who we are authentically & objectively. Then we can really se what stresses us and what makes us happy. Sometimes in opposition to who we think we are.

Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique 

SCoPED is a new framework for counselling and psychotherapy. Nobody likes it. Nobody wants it. Anyone who dares to criticise it – is insinuated to be a bully.
SCoPED Power

The truth is out: counsellors and therapists are just like everyone else. Ambitious, competitive, heirarchical, and wanting autonomy. (Read Janet Malcolm’s The Impossible Profession to see how trainee therapits find clients.) So when a membership organisation come along to control and dominate the profession. Sparks fly.

Therapists are just like anyone else. Except they should have the capacity to think about what the environment we live in. The enormous largely unseen power these forces have over us. Schooled to think about the environment of the client – the family – the therapist has an opportunity to be tuned into external forces of power inflicted on us all.

So when a framework is pushed through political style therapists react. Like political parties there is no rhyme nor reason except dogma, and the same old way of grouping people together to represent them. Then not represent them. Power is not representative. Power is political and personal. Power is held in small groups, and individuals. Thatcherism started this trend of wealth and power held by indivduals rather than institutions.

There are a few exceptions where organisations are organised flatly, and profits shared with the work force or members. Not many.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique 

So the Chancellor drinks out of an expensive smart mug.
A once in a life time chancellor who has given out more money to the UK population rather than trying to get it back off the UK population. Married to the daughter of a billionaire, he had a private education at Winchester, Oxford University and Stanford University.

The photo shows the mug standing proud on his desk. Hidden in plain sight. If he had his time again would he have removed it? A sense of irony sitting at his desk posing for a photo showing him working on a budget?

We all live in budget bubbles. Our friends & family have similar salaries? Similar monetary values? Financial expectations? Some given more opportunities in the family than others. We get accustomed to a certain standard of living. It becomes every day to us. Do we notice people who earn less the same as we notice people who earn more? Do you know a smart mug? 

Some might say that all politicians should own/are a smart mug.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2020
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique