Author Archives: North London Counsellor Blog

Secondary emotions are a display of hate, fear or anger that sit in front of pain. The psyche’s primary function is to avoid loss & hurt. We maintain these secondary feelings to avoid admitting hurt & shame. It sounds a … Continue reading →

” … I love him so much: I’ve never been so attracted to anyone like this before. He’s exciting ….. we have such deep conversations … Great sexual energy … He’s all that I could ever want” Rumi is a … Continue reading →

The ability to suspend yourself is a trick: a psychological challenge. It is not to disappear, suppress your feelings or be detached from life. To create a small space to see what happens and how you react to what happens. … Continue reading →

Furasato – Home Perhaps easier for our distant ancestors – the notion of Home – belonging, safety, warmth, comfort. They lived in the same place, same time with the same people. Held in nature & the Stars. Maybe more manageable … Continue reading →

Kali cried “I wish I could speak to my Dad again, I know I can’t, but I wish I could …” I Wish. In polite conversation the listener might move the speaker along. Trying to appease, or comfort both parties … Continue reading →

Agnotology is the study of ignorance. Blurring the truth, creating false data to influence us to fight each other & buy products that might not be good for us. Once a truth is undermined, and little interest shown to correct … Continue reading →

Adam is a Handsome man. Adam Handsome. The story of his mother’s traumatic pregnancy with him, terrified cortisol flowing from her to him through their umbilical cord set the dye for an emotional life in conflict with Adam Handsome. Social … Continue reading →

We think we can choose relationships. We have criteria encouraged by social media. We think most of our decisions, but take delight when we are attracted, or fall in love through instincts. Creating a comfortable feeling that we are sure … Continue reading →

Suffering is the aim of therapy. Or as Freud said a common unhappiness. Well not quite? To suffer efficiently is to suffer in a way that suffering can be put aside. Generally we are trapped in a pleasure / suffering … Continue reading →

Laura reasoned:  “Well I hope I can change. I’m very hopeful for the therapy”  We are told to be hopeful. Hope is one of these words that it is difficult to argue with. To be hopeful, optimistic, is seen as … Continue reading →