Category Archives: North London Counsellor Blog

There are many ways to do therapy, and there are many ways not to do therapy – but contrary to this – it is trying to find a way of being to compliment our automatic default of doing. One simplistic … Continue reading →

Ali asked me angrily “How can I be better at therapy? How can I be good at this? What do I need to do to be a good client? …….” Men particularly (but not always) want a quick mastery of … Continue reading →

Secondary emotions are a display of hate, fear or anger that sit in front of pain. The psyche’s primary function is to avoid loss & hurt. We maintain these secondary feelings to avoid admitting hurt & shame. It sounds a … Continue reading →

” … I love him so much: I’ve never been so attracted to anyone like this before. He’s exciting ….. we have such deep conversations … Great sexual energy … He’s all that I could ever want” Rumi is a … Continue reading →

The ability to suspend yourself is a trick: a psychological challenge. It is not to disappear, suppress your feelings or be detached from life. To create a small space to see what happens and how you react to what happens. … Continue reading →

Furasato – Home Perhaps easier for our distant ancestors – the notion of Home – belonging, safety, warmth, comfort. They lived in the same place, same time with the same people. Held in nature & the Stars. Maybe more manageable … Continue reading →

Kali cried “I wish I could speak to my Dad again, I know I can’t, but I wish I could …” I Wish. In polite conversation the listener might move the speaker along. Trying to appease, or comfort both parties … Continue reading →

Agnotology is the study of ignorance. Blurring the truth, creating false data to influence us to fight each other & buy products that might not be good for us. Once a truth is undermined, and little interest shown to correct … Continue reading →

Adam is a Handsome man. Adam Handsome. The story of his mother’s traumatic pregnancy with him, terrified cortisol flowing from her to him through their umbilical cord set the dye for an emotional life in conflict with Adam Handsome. Social … Continue reading →

We think we can choose relationships. We have criteria encouraged by social media. We think most of our decisions, but take delight when we are attracted, or fall in love through instincts. Creating a comfortable feeling that we are sure … Continue reading →