Adam is a Handsome man. Adam Handsome.
The story of his mother’s traumatic pregnancy with him, terrified cortisol flowing from her to him through their umbilical cord set the dye for an emotional life in conflict with Adam Handsome.

Social media well documents men’s treatment of women as appearance objects, with women wanting to be themselves. This dynamic cannot be swapped round with equality: but creates another set of issues.

Adam’s life experience is a mixture of adulation and fear. He finds that he is given roles to play by both men and women based on his appearance, and their interpretation of his appearance.
Men expect him to be heroic, strong, competent, successful with women within the confines of the male domain. Women expect him to be heroic, strong, nice, invulnerable within the confines of the female domain.
He fears interaction with both as no win.

Both genders expect a simplistic clear version of Adam Handsome. In therapy Adam uncovered that if he goes out of these confines: he is met with disappointment, passive aggression, a fall from grace.

He is seduced into playing the part of Adam Handsome with all its benefits. Yet the cost of not being able to be authentic – brews a lingering depression interrupted by sabotaging outbursts of anger & helplessness.
His Mother & Father treat him as a handsome object, not wishing to see the person who might remind them of this traumatic episode at the start of their married life.

Adam Handsome is caught in the Person-Handsome Loop. How will Adam Handsome find his way out?

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2026
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