13. Suspend Yourself

The ability to suspend yourself is a trick: a psychological challenge.

It is not to disappear, suppress your feelings or be detached from life. To create a small space to see what happens and how you react to what happens. The space can allow you to observe yourself apart from your thoughts, emotions or impulses.

If you are disappointed with somebody you might feel anger, contempt or withdrawal. Suspending yourself resists the automatic need to blame the other person, as you feel they have wronged you. You suspend this dynamic to allow the feeling to exist without immediately acting upon it.

When our expectations are strong to suspend is more difficult.  We may assume unconsciously that others understand us, rescue us, reassure us: to reinforce the internal template of how relationships should work.
When our expectations are not met – the default is to judge reality rather than examine ourselves.

Suspending ourselves is a rebellion against the system, the state. A Humble Enquiry. A Freedom that allows curiosity rather than certainty. The problem is our whole being fights this suspension. To look at ourselves from a separate view point reveals something that wants to remain hidden. Our Self.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2026
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