” … I love him so much: I’ve never been so attracted to anyone like this before. He’s exciting ….. we have such deep conversations … Great sexual energy … He’s all that I could ever want”
Rumi is a 32yrs old woman who is looking for a long term relationship. The man she is talking about here gives her little. He tells her that he is no good for her, and she should find somebody else. She deserves it. He regularly sees other women: and does not commit to her or any of them.

She tries to date other men – but all her attempts are spoilt by the intensity of the relationship with this man. Her friends understand but are weary … hearing about the intense monthly liaisons which come to nothing.

We need to have good & bad relationships to find out where we are hurt. The hurt attracts a compensation, deflection, avoidance which triggers all the physiological systems which ensnare us in bad relationships. To judge relationships as good and bad can be unhelpful. Both are learning relationships giving us an opportunity to see how we unconsciously are attracted to others.

With awareness we can come to terms with what we are attracted to in old pattern repeats – and come to a new perspective of the fight inside us of what is healthy or not healthy for us – by calming the old energies so that they are not so attractive to us.

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