Adrian Scott Counsellor Supervisor MBACP Accred

TV Crimes Misogyny?
Strong female characters have arrived in crime drama. But is this empowering for women or misogyny created for men by men. Is this just TV crime misogyny? The template was DCI Jane Tennison played by Helen Mirren in Prime Suspect aired in the early 1990s. Tennison was professional, cool, & masculine yet played upon the emotional intelligence of being a woman in mans’ world.

The Killing, The Bridge, and most recently The Fall all have strong female leads.
All three of these characters play up the enigma angle, and the sex. In the Bridge the main female character picks up men at bars and drags them home to have sex with her. This is explained by the character being slightly autistic: not able to hold normal conversations, or read peoples’ feelings.
The Gillian Anderson character calls over an attractive male police officer on a crime scene, and explicitly tells him the hotel and room number she is staying in. She has sex with him, then dismisses him with the reason that she misread him! This then comes out as part of an investigation into the murder of  the police officer. A female junior officer flushes condoms down the main character’s hotel room toilet to protect her emulating female buddy support!
Is this empowering for women to have these roles? The Director, producers and writers of the Fall are men.
TV Crime Misogyny? TV drama is a precise controlled medium that manipulates the viewer in every frame. Something might be learnt in studying the manipulation.
Enigma.
What is not being said and more particularly not being felt seems attractive to the viewer. This is stereotypical in a man but a twist on the stereotype when it’s a woman. But in reality what is interesting about a person who does not reveal themselves? The assumption is that they are interesting if they were to speak. Why? Suggestion, partial explanation, a lack of clarity are seductive. Does it keep us from the stark, mundane reality of relationships? Is it relaxing to see these simplified relationships on the screen. Perhaps because the complexity of our own relationships are not like this? Is this TV Crimes Misogyny?
Sex.
Women acting like male predators is attractive to men? Is this a short cut fantasy for men to have sex with women with little effort? In reality few women are like this because of the risk factor. Physical strength can still dominate the power relationship between men and women.
This is power relationship is cleverly portrayed in the Fall. The camera switches between the procedures of the serial killer, and the procedures of a crime unit led by a woman trying to stop the serial killer. Power inside the law and outside the law. Power outside the male role as a serial killer. Power outside the female role as a woman getting sex like a man. TV Crimes Misogyny?
Is this a trick? A play on gender roles which adds up to nothing? Or a genuine attempt at empowering women?

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.

Muhammad ibn Abd-al Wahhab

Radicalism
A soldier knocked down and killed with knives on a London Street.
A life- long trauma for his family, friends and colleagues. Then the inevitable questions about how could this happen? What kind of people could do this? Were the security forces aware of them? Did they act alone? What were their families like? Who radicalised them? How did they turn out like this?
We are all experience a form of Radicalism in our families. We are set up for it. It is a part of the human condition.
Radicalism and Extermism has been around since the 17^th Century in its present form. It was started by the scholar Muhammad ibn Abd-al Wahhab who confronted the traditional tenants of tolerance and inclusiveness of Sunni Islam. This idea that a religious text can be re-interpreted to support a traditional opposing view has been around a long time. Including the bible.

This sleight of hand where a text is interpreted contrary to its meaning cannot be underestimated? But how does it work?It is about the power of the text and trying to shift that power to an opposite point of view. Usually against believers who hold power over another section of the population. Radicalism supports extremist action which undermines the traditional power structure. Radicalism wants to enforce its beliefs on others, and exclude all other opposing beliefs.

In a sense it is a form of brainwashing.
Brainwashing is an interesting concept as it is usually seen as something that happens to others in extreme situations. Yet we are all brainwashed in our families. Ideas and values are built up over time in children. When they become adults they can find that these values are destructive and sabotage their families and relationships.
For example: a daughter being brought up to be a good girl. She has been brainwashed not to upset her parents and do as she is told. Her career choice was decided by her parents. She ended up in counselling in her early thirties in crisis. She hated her life, her job, and herself. She had to learn who she was. Not who her parents had told her to be. In family brainwashing there is no big event or trauma. No explicit commands. No reason or argument. Just the slow drip of example and modelling over years of living in the family environment.

Radicalism is a compacted form of family brainwashing. Target are carefully chosen. Men and women who are lost. with no sense of direction or purpose. Frightened by the complexities of existence. Wanting to live a black and white life. Avoiding the grey. Seeking clarity. Both poor and wealthy backgrounds breed these targets. A lack of opportunity and an abundance of opportunity can create a sense of being lost and lacking direction.
The brainwashers are skilled natural manipulators who effortlessly and without recognition influence vulnerable minds. Creating clarity, direction, purpose and hope are seductive ideas which can alleviate a depressed and painful life.
In this context it is more understandable how humans can be influenced and controlled. Radicalism.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.

Crisis of Masculinity
Diane Abbott talks about a Crisis of Masculinity
Men are lost because women have taken over their role. Particularly in the work place. Pornography places pressures on men to be all powerful. They are unable to discuss their difficulties or speak about their emotions. Men’s depression and anxiety are under diagnosed. To avert this Crisis of Masculinity the role of fathers has to be better supported. Crisis of Masculinity
The critique of this point of view is that it is good to have women in the work force. The sense of a crisis in masculinity is overdone. A man would not be able to lecture on the Crisis of Femininity.

In truth the role of men has always been compared to the role of women. Crisis of Masculinity
Rightly women have been seen as oppressed by men. Women are second best in the workplace, home and in entertainment. Objects of physical attraction over character. At once revered and envied. In the world today we see women being aggressed and violated in wars for domination and power. It is right and proper that women be seen and treated as equal to men.
In truth the role of men has never been great. This is difficult to say about an oppressor. The oppressor is dominant, gets what they want. It is difficult to see the oppressor as not having a good role.
The role of oppressor is limited and the joy of oppression short lived.
Yet perhaps this motivation for this oppression and patriarchal obsession with keeping women in their place is that women are always at an advantage. This cannot be talked about. It has to be kept secret.
Once in the open the oppression would not be as effective. Crisis of Masculinity
The advantage that women have is the way they are treated from conception to be social, and interactive. Women are taught to ask for and receive support: practical and emotional. The fact is that most men are not treated in this way. So they cannot ask or give support in their own lives. Men are more likely to become isolated, struggle on and even kill themselves.
Women can talk about a crisis in masculinity as they give birth to men. Men do not have this role. Neither can the oppressor be seen to undermine the role of women and then instigate an investigation into the oppression.
Boys don’t Cry – Women can. A Crisis of Masculinity.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.

Obsessional Love
The idea that obsessional love is a bad thing is full of mixed messages.
Obsessive behaviour leading to actions like stalking is seen as bad.
Being Crazy in Love is acceptable.
Songs are written about being obsessed with men and women.

Being in love and being in obsessive love are both on the same spectrum. A blindness or being knocked off-centre is needed for reproductive purposes. If rational judgment was allowed: not enough people would enter into a relationship and have children!
One view is that if there was no obsession in the 21^st Century modern western economies wouldn’t work.
To be obsessed with wanting something. A car, jacket, phone, or house is what the market thrives on.
Being obsessed with buying is what makes economies work.
Yet there is a thin line between being obsessed with a person and being crazy in love with a person. In both cases the emphasis is on the other person. The object of desire.
There is more understanding  to be gained looking at the obsessed person rather than the obsessive object.
Obsessional Love starts with a need from deep inside that has to be satisfied. An empty space that has to be obsessively filled. It cannot be empty. It is too painful for the space to be empty. Fill it with something.
The object that fills the empty space is usually familiar to us. It is familiar in the sense that the shape of the empty space is familiar to us. The object that fills the space has a familiar shape.

This familiarity might not be familiar to us! It takes an abstract awareness and practice to recognise an emotional landscape of feelings.
This empty space can be created from childhood: predominantly in the lack of interaction between parent and child. Perhaps the parent is having a challenging time and not able to give the child their full attention: or has not had a loving experience themselves so is unable to pass it on to the child.
Obsessional Love tries to make up for this love deficit.
The empty space is highlighted in transition periods. Teenage years, middle age and in crises such as bereavement, illness and trauma.
Being aware and becoming familiar with our inner emotional landscape can help us identify what needs to be done. The filling of an emotional hole with love and care, rather than obsession: making contact with a good friend rather than going to the shops.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.

21^st Century Dying is unique to our time. The length of life is extended and the illnesses that we die from are being detected earlier. Free health care on the NHS allows everyone to access expert and expensive procedures to stay alive. The Hospice movement has established the management of dying and pain. Patient’s pain is regulated from the patient’s perspective and tolerance by repeated medication. It was not always done this way.
In 21st Century Dying terminal illnesses are predicted with an estimated timeline so that families, friends and the patient can prepare for the end.
Dying in earlier times has a bad press. Lives were shorter and death from diseases could only be treated depending on the patient’s means. Pain was unmanaged, and people died deaths from plagues and pestilence.
Yet in the 21^st Century we have created a situation where some deaths are predictable and the patient has to tolerate the prediction with no way out. Taking your own life having a terminal illness is still seen as taboo: many are incapable of it and to help them is illegal.
Perhaps in 21st Century Dying we have reached Maslow’s highest plateau. For some all basic needs have been met to lead creative and fulfilling lives. Part of that fulfillment is that we have the time and freedom to think about our existence.

This is concentrated by a predictable death in 21st Century Dying. A time forced on us to reflect on the purpose and success of a past life. One day in the future this might be perceived as a form of torture. Particularly for those who are not practiced or familiar in existential thinking and reflection. To die suddenly with a heart attack or in a traffic accident is seen as a bad death. But it has the advantage of not going through a slow decline with time to think.
Death is frightening to us because we have done nothing else but live. There is no half way option. Physiologically our bodies are either alive or dead. The half way options only emerge psychologically in 21st Century Dying.
In the time between a predicted time of death and death itself it is difficult to avoid a replay of joy and happiness and regret and hurt. Perhaps the Hospice movement could establish a more proactive psychological support service for the terminally ill.
Or on the diagnosis of a terminal illness – a dignified and humanistic death become a socially acceptable alternative.
21st Century Dying. The sanctity of life versus the sanctity of death.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.

Derek Marks OBE
If you google Derek Marks you will find a TV presenter.
But another Derek Marks OBE was born in the same year that Margaret Thatcher was born and died on the same day, Monday 8^th April 2013.

Derek Marks was given an OBE for his services to blind children on the same day as Margaret Thatcher was forced out of Downing Street in November 1990. Derek Marks led a life of service to others. An unsung hero whose death was eclipsed by the death of a politician.
This must happen all the time.
A birthday on the day Princess Diana died, on September 9^th 2001 the day the Twin Towers fell, or 7^th August 2007 the start of the present financial crisis.
Conversely dying on the day the Berlin Wall fell, or the beginning of the new millenium.

Sometimes events take over and we have to struggle and find a way through. The passage of life is unpredictable and random. We are all born into circumstances out of our control. Yet we can spend the rest of our lives trying to cope with our beginnings that we had no control over.
We can spend a lot of time and energy worrying about what sort of death we are going to be given. Some people manage a “good death” by starving and stopping drinking.

We are mostly defensive in reaction to the randomness of life: we want control and have authority over it. But perhaps we are missing the point: to be engaged and close to randomness is to give oneself up to the meaninglessness of life. Is this so bad? For our lives to have meaning- meaningless must also be present. It gives the meaning more importance and well – meaning.
At times we have our chances of putting meaning to our lives. At other times we do not have that chance.
A balance of meaning and meaninglessness.
“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” Joseph Campbell
Derek Marks OBE.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.

Is there such a thing as NHS Anxiety?
Going into an NHS hospital is stressful.
The journey can be long and create anxiety. NHS Anxiety!
First a recognition of something wrong with personal health. Then a visit to the GP. Going for tests. Then waiting for test results. Back to GP. Results confirmed. Then referred to a consultant. Decision on course of treatment. Treatment organised. Bed available. Treatment finished. Discharge home. Evaluation of independent living made. Carry on with life.

The idea of the NHS as being the provider of free health care across the UK cannot be denied.
The history of NHS is a romantic look back to post war Britian.

The population supports it. Hospitals and nurses are used as emotive topics to gain influence at a local government and central government level. The NHS remains almost untouchable.

Yet the journey through a treatment plan in the NHS is fraught with anxiety. The services involved do not speak to one another. Each have different communication styles and relay different amounts of information. Some professionals are relaxed at giving difficult diagnoses; others have to be asked, with some it has to be demanded.
What the NHS cannot seem to do is manage anxiety in a consistent joined up way.
This can spoil what is an excellent medical service.

The anxiety is held in two areas: relationships to medical professionals, and dissemination of information.
In relationships consultants’ personal assistants, reception staff, & nurses seem much better at dealing with patients’ anxiety. Predominantly women they appear more practiced at dealing with people who are coming into the NHS with appointments and medical histories. They are kind, make time and listen to the patients’ concerns.

In relationships GPs and Consultants appear less experienced at dealing with patients’ anxiety.
Perhaps this is something to do with the medical model. It is interested only in what is wrong with the patient. A more holistic view of the person is seen as beneficial but perhaps a side event compared with the essential life-saving procedure? Are GPs and consultants much more focused on the medical model? They perform the diagnoses, surgeries and treatments. Would we prefer excellent surgeons with no people skills, or good surgeons with people skills?

Freud understood the power of medical model. and the medical establishment. He had to convince the medical establishment of his theories of psychoanalysis for his work to gain recognition. A balancing act: between having his theories accepted but also inventing an alternative to the medical model.

The other source of NHS anxiety is the dissemination of information which can be unclear. No simple explanation of the referral system, and no clear stepped route into treatment. For instance being told that a procedure is needed as soon as possible, then having to wait a week for a bed space. The message is unclear: if it is clear that surgery is needed, why the wait for a bed? This lack of clarity adds weight to privatising the NHS.
It also ramps up anxiety for the patient. Is wanting clarity a wish? The medical model for all its science and technology is not clear. GPs and consultants do not know. The body is not predictive, and does not give clear signals.
Would a clearer consistent message about not knowing increase our anxiety in a potential life and death situation? Perhaps the NHS should rumble along as it does?

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.

Obama Crush Kamala
President Obama’s comment about Kamala Harris “the best-looking attorney general attorney” in the country has divided opinion. Does Obama Crush Kamala?
The comments range from women wanting to be complimented like this to women being insulted by being judged by their looks in the workplace rather than their work performance. What did Michelle Obama think: mother of his daughters?
The president finds the transformation of his daughters to young women a challenge.

Meanwhile on this youtube clip a young woman has a “Crush on Obama”
What’s happening? The inequality between men and women rages on.
Would a female president (there hasn’t been one yet!) compliment on a good looking male attorney? Would the reaction be the same then? Is a young woman having a crush on a US president inevitable: considering the power and stature of the role?

There is a lot of confusion between sex and sensual. Sex sells: sensual is more subtle.
Are men more focused on the sexual – and women on the sensual? The choice of materials and textures in womens’ clothing is wide. Silks, chiffon, suede, and leather among them. The choice of mens’ clothes is lacking: men are called dandy or their sexuality questioned if they wear different textures other than cotton, cords or denim! Men see women dressed up to attract men: while women want to feel good and sensual?

It looks like women are still judged more on their looks, than men. Nature or nuture? A way of oppressing women by judging them on something they have little control over?
Is it power? Having power over a sex that is more powerful? Got to keep women down?

The conditioning of boys and their attitudes to girls starts early with parents and families. One behaviour is reinforced by approval or being ignored. Another behaviour is reinforced by triggering anger or surprise. The ideas that boys collect from a young age are subtle and drip fed.
By the time of adulthood attitudes to women are in place.
What were the President’s collected ideas?   

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.