Category Archives: North London Counsellor Blog

Lukas started the session: “I am guessing that your Father might have fought my Grandfather in the war” Therapists are afraid of these sort of comments – frightened that they are going to get drawn into a conflict. Conflict though … Continue reading →

Don & Maria sit in silence in front of me. Don had shouted at Maria after she accused him of stonewalling. Both look at me to take their side in the fight. They have come to couples therapy for a … Continue reading →

Sarah arrived 15 minutes late. She announced: ” I wanted to come on time but I just couldn’t” Silence …… She continued “Whatever we talk about here I go over it in my head. I critique what I said and … Continue reading →

With the culture of patriarchy as a counterpoint – men as discussed here before do not have an emotional fluency to keep them afloat. The frameworks of male friendship rest in accompanying, physical connection, turning up, heirarchical humour, putting down, … Continue reading →

Enquiring clients often want to test out the fit they are going to have with their potential therapist.    The question is how much of a fit? To take the two extremes: the therapist who is exactly like you, agrees … Continue reading →

Therapy pays a lot of attention to endings. At ending we are an emphasised version of our emotional selves. Endings show how we protect ourselves from the pain of ending. Where our culture pays little attention to endings. An ideal … Continue reading →

Each generation has its own characteristics and social culture. The character of each generation influences the people inhabiting that generation:    The Silent Generation – Silence! Boomers – Thrifty Gen X – Independence Millenials – Socially Concious Gen Z – Authenticity Each … Continue reading →

Nachträglichkeit, Apres-coup, Afterwardsness a Freudian term used to describe a repressed trauma which replays  itself in the future. A deferred action from childhood into aduthood. The trauma gets pushed down: but bubbles away in the heat of unconscious atrophy: ready … Continue reading →

Whenever Gene Hackman came on screen you relaxed into knowing his role or this part of the film was going to be great. And so it was. The ease and minimalism belied a complexity of presence and feeling that you … Continue reading →

Ever feel something is not quite right? Or perhaps you feel something is wrong but nobody else notices? You’re right. It’s not you. Hypernormalisation is the idea that something is going on while everyone around you is either unaware or … Continue reading →