One of the trainee counsellors told the supervision group about their client who she didn’t know how to work with. She didn’t know what to do. On reflection she said it felt like the client had had Enough.

So what is Enough? Despair? Hopelessness? Helplessness? All of these?

It is a natural inclination is to be human to talk the person out of Enough. To tell them much they are loved, how much they mean to the world. Yet in reality this isn’t what the person wants to hear. Enough is a human state where if you believe in the autonomy of the individual they have free will. This terrifies us.

In avoidance we tell each other and ourselves that the avoided is not tolerable. If we cannot listen, hear, be with, bear the Enough we are sending a strong message. We cannot cope with it so why should the other! In our lives we are generally surrounded by people who we perceive cannot tolerate our Enough. So we isolate. Shut down. Retreat. Withdraw. Until we feel there is nothing or nobody left.

To have another bear our Enough is a rare experience. Loved ones are too invested in us: their potential loss & pain too great. Find someone to bear the Enough so by example we can bear our own Enough

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